I don’t wanna grow up
I don’t wanna have to shout it out
I don’t want my hair to fall out
I don’t wanna be filled with doubt
I don’t wanna be a good boy scout
I don’t wanna have to learn to count
I don’t wanna have the biggest amount
I don’t wanna grow up
Do you ever find yourself alone in a place you’re not usually ever alone in, for example an office, and get this overwhelming urge to do something a little wild?
I’m sitting in my office right now. No one is here. Generally it is painfully quiet, even when full, but right now it’s just eerily silent.
My leg is bouncing about and I keep thinking if I stay any longer I will start jumping from desks, kicking files, flinging newspapers singing loudly the words to some forgotten 80’s song. Let’s hope there aren’t any security cameras.
Here I go…
“The big, big thing I’ve discovered, the big secret, is that it’s all about how happy you are. It’s the ultimate thing. People forget your flaws and imperfections if they see you’re happy. And I’m incredibly happy right now. Probably happier than I’ve ever been. It’s happiness that makes you glow. Oh, and just a touch of fake tan.”
-Sienna Miller, ELLE magazine UK 2008.
Alright, so it’s not the most profound quote I could have included in this - my first official blog entry. This long awaited, most anticipated, extremely overdue blog entry.
But, nevertheless, it is what inspired me to write this evening, so it seems only fitting that it is what I use to welcome you into my web-writing-world. The quote kind of reminds me of me.
And to be perfectly honest (because, hell, that is what this blog is for, right?) I have the biggest lady crush on Sienna Miller.
Hello.
I’m not going to start with introductions. It seems silly. Mostly because I feel as though I, and perhaps one other person, will be the only people actually sitting down to read these entries. And I already know myself (sort of) and he already knows me (perhaps too well).
I will however say one thing – I am officially a professional writer. Someone actually pays me for my words. Hoorah!
Granted they are a highly edited version of my words and they absolutely segregate any and all of my personal opinions in every way possible, but they are indeed my words. If I’m lucky, a glimmer of my personality might peek through every now and again, but for the most part I’m starved for a prose personality. This will be my avenue to get all that out there. Sure, I could have chosen a more private place, but where, my friends, is the fun in that? You must also know before reading any further that there are no writing rules for this blog. Who gives a fuck about an oxford comma, right?
I’ve always had an avenue before (random strewn slightly used napkins infected with my scribble comes to mind), but I found I was always losing them. Leaving them lying around in public places. I’d like to think someone finds them in some poetic message-in-a-bottle type way, but I suspect they most likely end up either in the bin or stuck to the bottom of some teenager’s sneaker. I recently found one under the seat of my car with a piece of my chewed gum elegantly squashed in the middle of it, pour example.
I digress.
The aforementioned Sienna quote is a bit ironic to me at the moment. Here’s why:
I am, for lack of a more complex word, pretty damn happy. I’m writing again. I’m healthy. I actually have a vehicle at my disposal. My skin has truly never looked better. But before you go getting all jealous, I must admit, something is missing, or at least, feels as though it’s missing. The fact I can’t pinpoint exactly what that is, is truly driving me mad. I do believe however, that everyone in North America shares this dilemma with me, so for now I will blame it on that. It’s not personal. It’s cultural.
Hopefully writing more frequently on this here purty blog will help unravel that one a bit more. ?
We shall see.
Cheers to lady crushes,
L